I don't know why, but I have really been struggling with the discipline to have quiet time with the Lord each day. I have the yearning and the desire to grow closer to Him, but for some reason lately I am lacking the DISCIPLINE to make time for Him on a daily basis. The Lord has really been working on me and convicting me of this over the last week. I hear Him saying "I miss you, I miss you" When I think about that--the Saviour of the world, and creator of the universe is calling to me, wanting to spend time with me, it almost brings me to tears. Unfortunately, in the rush of the day, and tiredness of the night, it is easy to brush off His calling and say, "I'll get to it tomorrow". I also know that I am cheating my husband and daughter out of the Godly wife and mother they deserve, and that I want to be to them. No matter how hard I try, I cannot be the best I have to offer, if I am not in daily communion with the Lord. I even notice that my temper is shorter, and I am quick to judge when I am not spending daily time with the Lord. Don't get me wrong, I pray for my husband and daughter daily, but to really live up to my potential, I need to be working on my relationship with the Lord all the time.
Someday, I want my daughter to remember me as being her prayer warrior. I want her to know that I always upheld her in prayer. I want her to know that her mom covered her with prayer on a daily basis. When she thinks of me, I want her to immediately think about my relationship with the Lord. I want her to know that Christ is my rock. He is the one that I look to in every situation and that I have the attitude of "You can have all this world, just give me Jesus". I want to be an example of total surrender unto the Lord. I want her to think that I was a good wife to Bob because I truly followed the marriage principles set out for us in the Bible. I want her to know that being a submissive wife if a beautiful thing, and part of God's perfect plan for marriage. These things I know I have not all achieved, but they are what I strive for. I am only capable of achieving these things if I have daily discipline to seek Him.
I think that I really needed to post this, to "get it out" and to have some accountability. Now that I have blogged about this, I really need to follow through. I will keep you updated on how it goes.
Lord, help me to seek you daily, and honor you in our home. I want to be in total surrender to you. That means daily spending time with you. By not spending time with you daily, I cheat out my husband and daughter. I want to be your vision of a Godly wife and mother to them--help me be that. Not only that, but I dishonor you in not spending time with you. Thank you for your grace. I want to be a seeker of you.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
True Confession
Posted by Shaunna at 9:14 PM
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4 comments:
Amen.
Shaunna -
In my personal belief, taking care of God's precious creation and you can say, as my sister would say, "Hello, I am performing a miracle here!" about having a baby - would qualify as taking time for the Lord. I imagine He would be much prouder to know that you spent an extra five minutes reading a story to a future grownup (Tayva) than taking those same five minutes to read Scripture - not that it's not important, but He did say "Whatever you do to the least of my people you do unto me..." Therefore, ministering to us other MOPS moms and your husband and children IS spending time with the Lord, even if not in a "formal" setting. Keep up the good work, momma.
Anne
It is so hard to find that quiet time during the day and if I wait until the kids are in bed I find myself so tired. Thanks for being honest and encouraging the rest of us to make a point to draw closer to the Lord. I often worry about the prayer warriors in our churches who are getting older and going on to heaven. Do we have young people who really know how to "pray thru" in a situation? I want to be someone who is known to be a praying mom! Keep trying Shaunna; God knows your heart and desire to know Him more!
Great post. I too struggle in this area. I was really hit by your desire to be remembered by your daughter in such a profound way. I cannot think of anything more important we can do for our kids. Thanks for sahring this.
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